Yet Another Double Standard

One week ago you were furious with me when I grabbed piece of paper out of your hands in response to your query about the meaning of something written on it.  Imagine that as I was grabbing it from you, you held on and I refused to give it back and kept pulling on to it to the point that it caused you physical pain.  Imagine you asked me to let go, you told me that it wasn't a joke and asked me over and over to PLEASE stop pulling it from me.  Imagine you begged and raised your voice to show that you weren't kidding.  Imagine that you asked over and over for me to respect your wishes and I refused.  Just imagine that.  Then imagine that I acted like it was funny, and when it turned out you were angry and that you needed a few minutes to calm down I called you crazy and told you that you had problems.  Then imagine that when you  decided to take some time to calm down on you own I ran into the room shouting at you and imitating your pleas to stop in a disrespectful way.  Then imagine that after you'd decided to ignore me and focus on yourself so that you wouldn't say anything that would hurt me, I continued to taunt you including bringing up things from the past that I was supposed to have forgiven you about over one year ago... such as you texting and IMing other women in secret... and trying to hurt you again for something completely unrelated and already "resolved".  Now imagine that I continued to taunt you by talking with the dog in front of you blaming the entire thing on you and telling the dog that I had to continue taunting and escalating the issue in order to be even with you.  Can you imagine it??  Okay, that's where I'm at.
Now, you got FURIOUS with me because I grabbed a piece of paper from you and when you asked me to respectfully not do that, i said... okay.  Unhappily, but granted, I still said okay. You wanted to make a big deal about that, and made it clear to me that it WAS in fact a big deal to you.  Again, I said... okay.  And here you are, feeling like you have some right to call me "crazy".  Don't you think you should stop and think about this a little.  You are very quick to accuse others of things.  You are quick to complain about others when things don't go perfectly in your way.  You are quick to be judgmental about other people's flaws.  But I just want you to stop and think about this for a few minutes.  What is it exactly that makes you think that you can treat others however you'd like and NEVER have to accept responsibility for it?  What makes you think that when you are angry, you can say whatever hurtful things you'd like?  I've already been through this before... my mother does the exact same thing... that mentality of saying whatever it takes to win an argument.  If that means to break the person by attacking them personally and below the belt, then so be it.  And as long as you can tell the other person that they are "crazy" and tell them that it's their fault, then you will never have to be held accountable.  The other day, when I grabbed the paper you got angry and you didn't handle your anger very well... but eventually you told me what bothered you and I apologized and told you I would work on it.  Now here you've done the same thing and then some... but I'm wondering if you are willing to sit and accept your own responsibility and apologize.  To be honest, my guess is that the answer is no.  What you did to me was typical bullying.  You thought it was funny to bully me, just like when the kids on the playground steal a kids bag and toss it around his head and don't give it back... it's really funny, but ask the kid being bullied if he thinks it's a game.  That is hurtful.  It is mean.  And yes, it hurts the person who's being picked on.  Nobody likes that.  That was you.  And no matter how much I begged and pleaded and yelled for you to stop and to give it back, you treated it as though it were just a silly game, and "no big deal" and haha let's see how far we can take it.  Being bullied is never fun... so when I say stop, STOP.  If I say no, it means NO.  Please stop treating those pleas like they are a joke or insignificant.  I am asking you to stop for a reason.  It is not funny to me, nor will it ever be funny to me.  Show some respect and treat the things I say as though they are important.  Like for the millionth time when I tell you that I'm tired of hearing about my parents and the past in EVERY SINGLE ARGUMENT that has nothing to do with them!!!! Then maybe FOR ONCE you should take it seriously and STOP!!! Why should I EVER do ANYTHING for you, if you cannot do that ONE THING for me.

No Excuses!

The “no excuses” attitude screams capitalist business man, while at the same time reflects military sentiment.  In life, there are legitimate reasons for every single thing that happens.  A socialist attitude seeks to understand those reasons and search for an appropriate solution while taking those reasons into consideration.  If a man living in a remote cabin in the mountains hasn’t been to the doctor in two years, one does not simply tell the man he has done wrong, but seeks to understand the reasons behind his action (or in this case lack of action).  Perhaps there is no road to get to a doctor, perhaps he cannot walk, perhaps he has no phone service, perhaps he has had a stroke and has no use of one side of his body, perhaps his body is perfectly functional but he spends all his waking hours in search of food and maintaining his cabin.  Telling the man that he should simply go to the doctor and give no excuses is a poor solution to the problem, as failing to target the cause of the problem will lead only to a non-solution.  Understanding the cause of the problem is essential to understanding the problem itself as well as the most effective solution.  It is laziness on the part of the observer/researcher/government to simply blame the man without looking further into his situation and understanding his needs and means.  Similar to the Guatemalan Maya predicament following the earthquake of 1976, NGO’s who came in to build houses without understanding the needs of the local people were unsuccessful in coaxing the natives to reside in said houses.  They did not seek how or why, but rather what: houses.  These houses turned out to be contrary to the religious beliefs of the natives as they faced to the east which the natives connected to death (Earle & Simonelli, Uprising of Hope, pg 59). The houses in this case resulted in a non-solution. 

As Dr. Kimball of UNF would say, they were simply asking “what” questions.  It takes more insight, implies more work, and requires more patience to ask “why” questions, but leads to a more efficient and comprehensive solution.  Corporations that simply ask what, i.e. results, generally have less employee loyalty and greater environmental footprint, whereas those which ask why, i.e. seek to understand the reality behind the numbers, will seek out solutions such as improving employee conditions in order to create the what they are essentially pursuing.  They are likely to take different paths to reach the results, i.e. organic farming versus factory farming, Zappos vs. Amazon, Mac vs. PC, Publix vs. WinnDixie, Google vs. Yahoo.  Some of these companies may not be fortune 200 hundred companies, but they are more likely to see company longevity benefits as well as environmental and societal benefits.  In the end, society and environments support business, so these companies will be the winners in the long run, despite potentially failing in the sprint.